5 In-Depth Steps To Identifying Your Core Values: Thoughtful Exercises & Tips
Identify your core values with our detailed step-by-step guide to start living life more aligned with you.
There’s no hiding how daunting it can be not knowing where to start or how to go about identifying your core values. It’s easy to feel a bit of pressure, knowing our values help us align our finite resources (time, energy, money) with what we truly care about.
But it doesn’t have to be scary.
It can instead be empowering when we remember how much peace, fulfilment and meaning we experience when we are aligned with our values.
At Little Lydia, this is what we describe as having the freedom to focus on what truly matters.
To help identify your personal core values, we’ve outlined tips to ensure your values are authentic to you, self-reflection exercises, and an in-depth step-by-step process guide. Feel free to reach out to us if you have any questions throughout the process! We would love to help you along the way.
As a quick recap, personal core values are beliefs, used to guide our decisions and action, that are of central importance to us. Our previous post has more info on why core values are important, which includes some quick easy questions to get you started before jumping into this in-depth guide.
Here’s what to expect for this post:
Exercises for identifying core values: an overview
There are many different ways for discovering your core values. These include:
Journaling
Completing questionnaires
With a therapist or within a program
Self-reflection activities
And more!
There are methods available all over the internet. While there isn’t exactly a better or superior method, there may be a more suitable one for your current season of life and needs.
Just like your own values, your preferred method for identifying your core values may differ from others. Again—it’s personal.
The steps we have for you (in part 3 of this post) are simple and easy to do yourself at your own pace. We’ve sprinkled in some ‘side questions’ to prompt some more self-reflection, and to really encourage more intentional and authentic values to surface during the process.
While it is flexible, we do encourage taking a minute to briefly think about these self-reflection questions to further inform you of what’s authentic to you.
Little Tip #1
Remember that this process take time to learn, understand, and practice.
It is a new topic for most, or a revisited one for some. Either way, remember your why for learning this and identifying your personal core values in the first place.
This is the first part of the practice, anyway!
Tips for identifying what is authentic to you vs your external influences
Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivators: what are they?
While identifying your core values, a very common obstacle is determining what values are actually authentic to you.
To help us distinguish this for ourselves, it’s important to understand how we, as humans, have intrinsic and extrinsic motivators. Let’s break this down real quick:
Intrinsic = internal
Extrinsic = external
Motivators = factors that influence our actions and decision-making
These can be positive or negative in nature, and are really just ways in which we can achieve or avoid a certain emotion or feeling for the benefit of our nervous system.
Examples and differences:
Intrinsic motivation = doing or participating in something for personal benefit, satisfaction or reward
e.g., playing a sport, learning something new, or reading a book for feelings of enjoyment, peace, accomplishment, etc.
Extrinsic motivation = doing or participating in something for a reward (external to you) or to avoid a feeling or negative reaction
e.g., to earn money/income, an award, recognition or praise, or to avoid being reprimanded by a parent or person of authority
Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivators: their importance in identifying your core values
When identifying your core values, understanding the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivators can really help in determining what values are authentic to you.
Your intrinsic motivators help you identify what values are authentic to you.
Your extrinsic motivators are still important, however, and can still play into what you identify as values authentic to you. For example, you may value stability or reliability, therefore an external motivator such as income becomes closely tied to this.
It is important to note that life is multifaceted and these parts of us can be influenced by upbringing, neurodiversity, location, ethnicity, culture, etc. Hence why these are unique to you and the season of life you are in at any point. Don’t forget to be compassionate through this process. You and your authenticity deserve it!
Little Tip #2
Knowing your intrinsic motivators can help you determine what values are authentic to you vs external influences on what you think you might value.
If you are still facing challenges with identifying what is true to you, start by thinking about your intrinsic and extrinsic motivators and where your values may be found among them.
Identifying values authentic to you: Exercises for self-reflection
Below are two batches of questions for more thought on what is important and true to you. There are no right or wrong answers. This is purely to explore more of yourself with honesty, compassion and connection.
This part of the process isn’t compulsory, but it is useful if you find that you need some extra help with determining what’s true to you.
Exercise A
If there was no way you could fail, if absolutely no one knew, and/or if you did not have to worry about money, what would you do?
Why?
- e.g., what intrinsic or extrinsic motivators/factorsWhat feeling/s would you experience?
Look at a values list and try to identify which values resonate with these feelings/themes
Exercise B
What are the things you love doing, or what fills your cup?
- e.g., doing pole fitness, hanging out with family, having date nights with yourself once a fortnight, etc.Why do they fill your cup?
How do these things make you feel fulfilled?
- e.g., connection, confidence, empowerment, peace, knowledgeableLook at a values list and try to identify which values resonate with these feelings/themes
How to start identifying your core values
Using categories to outline values across different areas of life
You can have just the 1 category (personal) or a few more to best suit the areas of life that are important to you.
My experience
I have 5 different categories at the time of writing this post (March 2025): Personal, Life, Little Lydia, Work, and Relationship. These are what I have identified as important to me.
As Little Lydia is not yet a full-time thing for me (though I am SO excited for the day it is), I have included both Little Lydia and my day job. This because they are two separate areas of my life for me, and what I value in each differ quite significantly.
My husband and I also sit down together and identify values for our marriage, which is why ‘Relationship’ is a category for me. I highly recommend doing this with your partner, as your shared values help guide your partnership and keep you on the same page.
Little Tip #3
Similarly to my own categories, you too can identify the main areas in life for you and therefore identify core values for each.
There may be overlap or even almost identical values between some. This is perfectly okay!
Simply segregating or differentiating these areas can help identifying what is true to us, as it provides greater clarity when aligning our decisions and actions for a particular area.
This can therefore help you allocate what you would like for life’s bigger moments and your finite resources.
Identifying your core values: an in-depth step-by-step guide
Below are our 5 easy, but in-depth and thoughtful, steps on how to determine your core values. You can use these same steps for any area you choose (Life Category), or do it as a whole (across all categories) at times like I have.
We encourage physically writing this out, whether in a notebook or on a blank piece of paper. It’s helpful with visualising and easy annotating where needed.
Step 1: Life’s Most Important Areas
Action: Outline the areas of life most important to you (or that largely make up your life)
e.g., personal (non-negotiable), life in general, career/work, business, family, pregnancy, wedding, holiday, etc.
Write these down as they come to your mind, then you can narrow it down to the few most important (see my own examples here if you need a bit of inspiration)
Struggling With Clarity?
Your intrinsic and extrinsic motivators are super helpful with providing clarity! If needed, you can answer questions from Part 2 of this blog post.
Step 2: Identifying Your Core Values
Action: Look at a values list and circle, highlight, or write down any that resonate with you
We have 100 personal core values examples below that you can use
You can also find values lists on our worksheet with even more values (coming soon!) or other internet resources
Little Tip: Actually Writing Your Values
If you have circled or highlighted these on a list, that’s perfectly okay! This is a flexible process
We do encourage actually writing down these values on a separate page, however, because it helps reduce visual clutter and overwhelm
This can then increase clarity, as your list only includes all those you find resonate with you
How Many Values Should You Choose?
Having up to 10-15 values = a good amount to start with (can be less!)
There is no limit here, but the idea is to narrow things down eventually
You’ll want 3 to 5 personal core values after narrowing down, but that’ll be in a later step!
Step 3: Narrowing Down Your Personal Core Values List
Action: Look at each value you resonate with and think about an instance in daily life where it applies to you
Do this for each one without overthinking it. If you have quite a few, it’s okay to take your time.
e.g., I wrote down ‘connection’ and thought about my interactions with my husband and dogs on a daily basis
Little Tip: Some of these may relate to each other or overlap. That’s okay!
You can even asterisk the ones that stand out to you or label ones that relate or overlap
Values That Overlap
Now that you’ve thought about your daily instances, you may be seeing some values that overlap with each other
Now is a good time to decide on the one that best captures that value as a whole for you
You can asterisk, highlight or write this value for more clarity if you need
This helps narrow your values list further, especially if you have an abundant list of initial selections!
Step 4: Deciding On Your Personal Core Values
Action: Decide on 3 to 5 values (if you haven’t already) that resonate most with you
These may be easy to identify, but if they aren’t, try the exercise below
Narrowing To 3-5 Values: Tying Your Values With Whatever Fills Your Cup
Take a quick pause from your values list and write down the top 3 things that fill your cup
e.g., Mine are 1) Time with and capacity for my family, friends and self; 2) Learning; 3) Travelling/experiences
Look through your list of written values and place each of these under the one area (of the 3 you have outlined) that it applies to most
Again, there may be overlap, so really think about the area that it is best suited for
This helps further with clarity and narrowing down
Use this to identify 3-5 values that resonate most with you
By viewing your list under the categories that fill your cup, you’re able to prioritise these further and have them resonate with what you care about most
Step 5: Keeping Your Values Close & Aligning With Your Authenticity
Action: Write these out on a new, blank page under their respective Life Categories (if you have chosen them)
Life Categories are the ones you identified in Step 1 (if you have chosen them)
Though there may be some overlap, Life Categories are separate to the areas that fill your cup, so be careful not to confuse these when categorising your values
Keeping Your Values Close
Keep these values easily accessible for when you need them to guide you
For example, you could:
Take a photo of these and favourite it, so you can refer to it easily
Write them on sticky notes to have up around the house, in your journal, or in your planner
Type these up and print them to have up or in any area you are in regularly
Remember:
Your values will change as you do. They are not set in stone.
If you find that one you wrote down becomes more suitable or relevant down the track, you can absolutely change them out.
As said in the previous blog post: you were always made to grow, just like every other aspect of your life, and your values are no exception.
Now that you’re equipped with some more clarity and steps under your belt, you’re already living life more authentically to you!
Your values are your guide posts to feeling your safest, most content, and most authentic. So take your time when determining your core values. Embrace your commitment to your wellbeing and all the challenges that come along with it, and re-do steps if you need to.
Again, as these are your personal core values it is important to remember your why, your intrinsic motivators and your extrinsic motivators. Self-reflect a bit more if you need to with the exercises provided. Get excited about getting to know yourself more and living life aligned with your authenticity!
Just remember that this process needn’t be overwhelming or scary. In fact, this type of self-exploration and personal development is more freeing as you start becoming more aligned with who you are.
As you start discovering your core values, we can’t help but get excited for you! Welcome to more freedom to focus on what truly matters. Welcome to room for life’s bigger moments.
- Little Lydia
Still have questions about the process?
Feel free to reach out to us here! As your authenticity’s biggest advocates, we’re always here to help you at any stage of your journey and we would love to hear from you